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Historically, Judaism is the first recognised religion
to believe in one God. The word of God is recorded in the Torah, a
series of scrolls, which are kept in the synagogue, the place of worship
for Jews.
There are four main branches of the modern Jewish religion, Orthodox,
Reform and Conservative (or masorti) and a Liberal (progressive) movement,
although this term is often used to indicate anything other than Orthodox.
Orthodox Jews follow the teachings of their religion very strictly,
and believe that the laws of the Torah and Talmud were passed to man
from God through Moses. Many rituals and ceremonies are performed
as part of the everyday life of an Orthodox Jew.
The Reform branch believe that the Bible should be important to their
lives, but do not practice as many rituals as the Orthodox division.
Reform Jews believe that the Talmud was written by people, rather
than by God, in a similar way to the Bible.
The Conservative branch believes that their religion should evolve
with the changing society.
Rules and ceremonies differ within these groups, for example, some
synagogues practice separation of the sexes, and some insist on a
head covering for men and a modest form of dress as well as a head
covering for women.
It should be remembered that no Jewish weddings can take place on
a Saturday.
The legal requirements for a Jewish wedding ceremony in England and
Wales are the same as those that apply to civil
marriages. However, if the synagogue is in a different registration
district to where the you live, you need to prove to the superintendent
registrar that it is your normal place of worship. If this is not
possible, you are required to give notice in the registration district
in which the synagogue is situated after having met the necessary
residency requirement.
If there is no synagogue in the registration district in which you
live, you will be permitted to marry in a synagogue in the nearest
registration district that has one. This is subject to the approval
of the synagogue's secretary.
If the secretary of the synagogue is not licensed to keep a marriage
register then they will notify you to say that a superintendent registrar
will need to attend the ceremony and arrangements should be made well
in advance. An additional sum will also be payable for the registrar's
attendance.
At least three months before the wedding you need to be registered
with, or authorised by, the Chief Rabbi's office. Take both sets of
parents' Ketubah or banns with you to your
appointment. Be prepared for a modern demand - you may be asked to
sign a form (a Get) in case of future divorce.
This allows a divorced
couple to get remarried under the eyes of God. If you live outside
London and are unable to get to the Chief Rabbi's office you can do
it by post. Be aware that if you live together some Rabbis could refuse
to marry you.
For further information and advice call the Jewish Marriage Council
at 23 Ravenhurst Avenue, London, NW4 4EE. Tel: 020-8203 6311. Fax:
020-8203 8727.
The Office of the Chief Rabbi offers all couples the opportunity to
sign a pre-nuptial agreement called a 'Get' in case of future divorce.
This binds them to attend at the Beth Din (Court of the Chief Rabbi)
in the event that their marriage runs into serious difficulties. The
prime object of this is to explore the possibilities for referral
on for mediation or counselling to save their marriage, or to assist
in the dissolution of their marriage in accordance with Jewish Law.
It is possible for a Jewish couple to divorce, and to remarry in the
eyes of the synagogue, providing the Beth Din has sanctioned the actions
and that they have followed the recommendations of the court. A civil
divorce is not recognised in the eyes of the Jewish religion. These
pre-nuptial agreements are optional and are usually offered three
to four months before the wedding.
On the Sabbath before the wedding, the bridegroom is called up to
the Reading of the Law in Synagogue. This recalls the tradition that
King Solomon built a special gate for a bridegroom in the Temple.
The inhabitants of Jerusalem would assemble there on the Sabbath and
if a bridegroom happened to be there, would publicly congratulate
him.
It is customary for the bride and groom not to see each other for
at least a day before the wedding, which enhances the significance
of their meeting under the Chuppah. It is also
traditional that they fast on the day of their wedding until after
the ceremony, in repentance of past sins. The fast is from first light
(before dawn) until after the wedding service. The basic reason is
that the wedding day is like a personal Yom Kippur. You are forgiven
your sins so as to have a clean slate - to begin your married life
without spiritual baggage.
The bride will also visit the 'mikvah', a ritual
bathhouse, where she undergoes a symbolic cleansing ceremony. This
practise is Biblical law and not a custom and is still widely practised
in Orthodox circles although it is virtually non-existent in Reform
and Progressive circles.
It is customary for you to be dressed in white or ivory on your wedding
day as a sign of purity, with a headdress and veil. At strict Orthodox
weddings, your dress should have a modest high neckline and long sleeves.
The groom often wears morning dress, but Orthodox grooms may wear
a long white robe.
Female guests at Orthodox synagogue weddings should cover their shoulders
and arms. At Reform and Liberal ceremonies it is more acceptable to
wear a strappy or sleeveless gown, but it is polite to cover the shoulders
for the ceremony. Traditionally, all women's heads should be covered.
The male guests will cover their heads with a 'yarmulke'
(a skull cap) for Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies. It is a good
idea to provide skullcaps for the non-Jewish male guests who may not
have the right head covering.
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